Blake and I saw this movie and it was okay. Many people will hate it, but for me there were a lot of painful similarities. The working mom role is that of constant juggling. Blake calls me the juggler. I have a dinner calendar, a work calendar, the kids calendars, Blake's calendar, gym calendar and my calendar all rolled into a mess of schedules, appointments and meetings. I am almost always doing several things at once that I get frustrated when I see other people not being productive. At times I catch myself in this cycle and tell myself to stop and just enjoy one thing in the moment. Playing with my kids is usually my go to. They are so easy to make laugh and I love to see them giggle .
I hated how the movie portrayed stay-at-home moms. I have been blessed with amazing college roommates & sisters that are all beautiful, kind, intelligent mothers who exemplify the role of motherhood. They are not judgemental and are kind. I have also had the unfortunate encounters with what the movie calls "momsters" who make lame comments like:
- You're so lucky you get to dress nice and wear heels to work
- I'm so jealous that you get to wear make-up everyday
- We all have choices and I choose to stay with my children and raise them myself
- You're baby doesn't even know who his/her mom is because he is always with the sitter
- You should really think about what's best for your family, is working outside the home really that important to your ego?
- How do you have time to run? What about your babies?
All those comments have been made to me since I've had babies. Several I heard in the movie and they made me cringe. Whenever I am faced with one of these comments, I cry. I cry because I am lame. I am lame because I feel guilt for not being with my babies all the time and guilt because I let these insecure women get to me again. ( This is when I call one of the previously mentioned moms and force them to give me a pep talk which pretty much says I'm doing the best I can, just like every other mother out there.) And I am lame because I never say the come-back that is on tip of my tongue in response to the lame comments above. I SHOULD say:
- You could shower and get out of those sweats too....
- I'm jealous that you never have to wear make-up and your hair never is done....
- I wish I had the option to play with my kids everyday instead of teaching your children manners and how to read and write....
- My babies know who I am and they know that I love them....
- My ego doesn't need stroking but apparently yours does with that back-handed comment...
- I run with my babies. I run because I love it and they love it. It is not selfish, it is who I am. Maybe you should try working out? Your husband would like it.
Livy......don't grow up and inherit my sassy head.
And E.....grow up to be kind and fun like your daddy.
Melissa, 'im blown away people have made comments like that to you. so very insensitive and clueless. I think you are SUCH a strong, talented, and patient woman and mother. Being a working mom is a very HARD thing. It's like having 3 full time jobs. Makes my head spin thinking of adding EVEN more responsibilities. So yeah, please call me next time you need a pep talk when these comments are made. because that is ridiculous. you are an amazing and incredibly loving mama. and may your children have your sense of humor, intelligence and perseverance. love you girl. :-)
ReplyDeletewell said! you are awesome:)
ReplyDeleteWait? You leave your children so you can buy them food and a place to live?!? Shame on you! What the hell are you thinking? Mwhahaha. And yes. Liv should grow up to be sassy like you! It's one of your best qualities. I want my daughter to be sassy so that she doesn't get trampled all over. I'm sure I'll have moments where I regret wishing that, but as of now? No.
ReplyDeleteI know you are frustrated with stupid people. I think that people make comments like that don't have much life experience. It's sad really. It's really not their business why you work. Even if you did work to get away from your kids. I'm guilty of that sometimes...oops! Bad mom? No. Well, maybe. Point is I think you are an amazing AMAZING mom. And teacher for that matter. We have a couple of kids in our Sunday School class that have you and love you. You won't have to work forever and you ARE NOT damaging your kids by working. You know that. I'm just reminding you.
Maybe I should have just emailed you. This comment is getting really long! Just wanted to apologize for Sunday. I didn't want your kids getting the wonderful flesh eating disease that Max had. Nasty. We'll get together soon!
Melissa. This was a powerful post. I have so much respect for you and Blake. Which is why those mean and ignorant comments made my blood boil... Call me next time you have to deal with crap like that and I will gladly remind you how amazing you are. You are one of the rocks in my life and your children are so, so blessed to get YOU as their mama. I hope both Livy and E turn out just like you and Blake. I couldn't wish anything better for them.
ReplyDelete